Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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