Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
