Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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