I'm eating all of the evidence.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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