best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
