i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
