I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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