Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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