so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
