i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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