just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
sex in a hospital.. check
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
