I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
