Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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