so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
