$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
