Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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