There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
