is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
