Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
That's how pantless uber rides happen
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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