you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
