The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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