Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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