That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
