So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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