I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I want to stick my p in your. b.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
