Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
