I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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