The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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