I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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