Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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