Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
