He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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