I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
