hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
im holly from the hills drunk
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
