I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I love you. Go after that dick
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
