She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
