dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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