Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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