i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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