I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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