yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
