He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
