He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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