well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize