If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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