Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
