I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
