if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
