Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
