No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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