i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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