Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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