is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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