Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
