Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
