Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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