I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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