Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
