if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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