so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
