i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
