With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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