Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize